Obey These New Traffic Signs

Driving can be fun, when it's something you want to do and not have to. Roads trips for example are a blast, for the most part, until you get to the last third of the trip when everyone is tired, hungry, and homesick. Not to mention spending long bouts of time with other people in close proximity, they tend to get grouchy and animalistic, doubly worse when it's friends and family to bicker with. Everyone turns into a diva.


But when I have to drive to work, driving becomes more of a chore. To begin with, the stress of  knowing you are about to spend the majority of your day indoors with the rude population sets the tone. Then racing the clock to arrive at the workplace on time, despite horrible drivers and seemingly overbearing stretches of road construction. I drive past a happy family with bikes and camping gear strapped to the roof of their car, just rubbing it in my face, I pull over and do a rain dance to spite them.


Let me ask you a simple question.  


Do you like or despise driving?


Either way, please enjoy the following modifications using driving scenarios, road signs, and a motor vehicle learning manual.


Back to the future junkyard

It seems that if you drive backwards for at least 6 seconds your car will explode. Either that or the person in the first car is elderly/from out of state and is causing each subsequent driver to be 3 seconds closer to losing their shit.


Also, do giants work for the department of transportation? Then who screwed in that enormous Phillips screw?


Go too slow, get the ray gun

When I get stuck between two cars driving at the same slow rate of speed blocking my path, I wait for one of them to get over. Then I make my move. I pass between them and shoot my blinding ray from both sides.


Don't stop, give props

This one may be a little dangerous and I also do not recommend anyone attempting this, but when done right, makes all the difference. 1 point for high fiving on the same road passing by, 2 points for high fiving while passing in opposite turn lanes.

Diamonds of weird warnings

I can deal with the bears, squids, and bees, but not the cat's butt-hole. Disgusting.


It's fun to stay at the

Sorry, couldn't help myself. 




There are many other signs that are pretty mediocre at best, including all of the tetris shapes. Could you imagine giant tetris shapes falling out of the sky?


In any case I wish everyone would take a second to think before they get in their cars and just

By the way, if you have any say about construction zones, please tell them to do sections at a time, do not close entire roads and not have any workers for spans of weeks at a time, and let me know ahead of time so I can plan accordingly!





Well, time for me to go. Thank you for stopping by, you are always welcome here.