Here's just a quick update, nothing extremely funny or entertaining. If that's what you were expecting then I'm sorry, I'll save something funny for the end.
So anyway, I enjoyed my 26th birthday this past Saturday by hanging out with the family and going to see the new Batman movie. I personally thought it was awesome and even my wife really liked it, even though she's not a big fan of superhero movies. Oh, I almost forgot the best part, the gifts! My grandma sent an Olive Garden gift card and my Aunt sent a Cold Stone gift card, they know me so well! Thanks to them both!
There were also many cupcakes involved, so many cupcakes. Can you tell I love cupcakes? Who doesn't like cupcakes? I bet Hitler hated cupcakes.
Which brings me to the subject of this post, just being me. I suppose not everyone is going to love or agree with everything I say, which is completely understandable. I even lost a follower after my last post. Maybe because I said I loved cheese? Maybe they were lactose intolerant? Who knows.
I know I can't please everyone, but writing ridiculous things makes me happy and if I can make even one person laugh or crack a smile, then I am pleased. I didn't start blogging in hopes of becoming rich or famous because we all know the odds of being struck by lightning 3 times is higher.
I am happy however to have met some funny, interesting, and talented bloggers who leave nice comments and inspire me to keep writing. I'm also grateful for my friends and family who support my ridiculous writings, even if they are just trivial observations.
That's about it.
Thanks to everyone who continue to read my blog, because it means you believe in the freedom of speech, expression, and most importantly, the ridiculous things in life.
Something funny. (Saved it for the end)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
My Kitchen Hates Me
Usually the kitchen is the heart of the home. It keeps you fed, brings your family together in between checking their mobile devices, and creates fond memories of cooking with your loved ones. However...
....if you have read any of my blog posts before, you would know that anything that may seem ordinary to most, transforms into an "Alice in Wonderland" version in my brain. (No I am not on any hallucinogens.)
I do find cheese hilarious though.
So follow me down the rabbit hole and into my kitchen where I will give you the grand tour, of ridiculous.
It all started today when I went to the cutlery drawer to look for a spoon. I look inside to discover that the only utensils left in the drawer are these huge ones made for giants or something. Of course I couldn't be bothered to wait for the dishwasher to finish running, I used that spoon like a boss. I was confused for a minute when I had finished my bowl of cereal in 3 bites.
We move on from the cutlery drawer and over to the cabinet. Do you ever find yourself in possession of a mystery can? I'm excited, terrified, and intrigued all at the same time. What could it be? Dog food? Baked beans? Whoop ass?
Now over to the counter we find our cereal boxes. I pick up a box and it feels kind of light, but i go ahead and pour anyway. About 6 pieces of cereal and a shower of cereal dust come out. How am I supposed to count this as a meal? Who would leave 6 freaking pieces left?!
Or how about having a full bowl of cereal but there is 3 drops of milk left in the jug, or no milk at all! I bet like me, someone out there considered using water or juice as a milk substitute. This may be one of the most distressing kitchen scenarios out there. I suck up my pride and pour the cereal back in the box, but not without spilling pieces all over the place.
*Side note: As an adult, I still make my cereal choices at the grocery store based on how colorful the box is and bonus points if there is a prize inside. (More for your money, duh.)
Which brings me to a kitchen phenomena all it's own: The Kitchen Shuffle.
The Kitchen Shuffle happens when you're hungry, but you don't have what you're craving, so you go from looking in each cabinet, to staring in refrigerator, to looking in freezer a few times hoping something great magically appears. Repeat 3-4 times or until you give up and eat something mediocre.
This can turn into a dangerous concoction of random foods that have high chances of causing digestion problems. Don't do it!
Next we look into the refrigerator. First I'd like to say that I don't like to waste food, but i find it rather amusing that only the "healthy" food expires and that the junk food gets eaten up right away. Apple or "super fructose happy calorie mega dye snack"? No brainer, always pick the one with the magical unicorn on the package, unless you don't want your leg to suddenly fall off.
Lastly, I take you over to the pantry where we find..... a 10 pound bag of rice that expires in 2 days?! Kids! Guess what we're having for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, and fourthmeal!
Before we leave the kitchen altogether, I'd like to mention the disaster of overbuying at the grocery store.
So you go grocery shopping, get too much fridge freezer stuff. Have to tetris the items before they get warm, get desperate, start breaking hot dogs in half, smashing eggs.. If you have a fridge/freezer where the freezer is on the top, be careful how freezer is arranged, otherwise a frozen projectile will hurtle towards your face. You won't fix it either until it happens 4-5 times. You get angry when it happens to you, but when you hear the loud slap of the Digiorno box hitting the floor when someone else opens it, you can't help but laugh.
Thanks for visiting my kitchen. I don't know about yours, but mine really seems to hate me. I hope out of all of the words above, I managed to provide some help to those out there whose kitchens treat them badly, like mine.
I hate my kitchen, but I love you.
....if you have read any of my blog posts before, you would know that anything that may seem ordinary to most, transforms into an "Alice in Wonderland" version in my brain. (No I am not on any hallucinogens.)
I do find cheese hilarious though.
So follow me down the rabbit hole and into my kitchen where I will give you the grand tour, of ridiculous.
It all started today when I went to the cutlery drawer to look for a spoon. I look inside to discover that the only utensils left in the drawer are these huge ones made for giants or something. Of course I couldn't be bothered to wait for the dishwasher to finish running, I used that spoon like a boss. I was confused for a minute when I had finished my bowl of cereal in 3 bites.
We move on from the cutlery drawer and over to the cabinet. Do you ever find yourself in possession of a mystery can? I'm excited, terrified, and intrigued all at the same time. What could it be? Dog food? Baked beans? Whoop ass?
Now over to the counter we find our cereal boxes. I pick up a box and it feels kind of light, but i go ahead and pour anyway. About 6 pieces of cereal and a shower of cereal dust come out. How am I supposed to count this as a meal? Who would leave 6 freaking pieces left?!
Or how about having a full bowl of cereal but there is 3 drops of milk left in the jug, or no milk at all! I bet like me, someone out there considered using water or juice as a milk substitute. This may be one of the most distressing kitchen scenarios out there. I suck up my pride and pour the cereal back in the box, but not without spilling pieces all over the place.
*Side note: As an adult, I still make my cereal choices at the grocery store based on how colorful the box is and bonus points if there is a prize inside. (More for your money, duh.)
Which brings me to a kitchen phenomena all it's own: The Kitchen Shuffle.
The Kitchen Shuffle happens when you're hungry, but you don't have what you're craving, so you go from looking in each cabinet, to staring in refrigerator, to looking in freezer a few times hoping something great magically appears. Repeat 3-4 times or until you give up and eat something mediocre.
This can turn into a dangerous concoction of random foods that have high chances of causing digestion problems. Don't do it!
Next we look into the refrigerator. First I'd like to say that I don't like to waste food, but i find it rather amusing that only the "healthy" food expires and that the junk food gets eaten up right away. Apple or "super fructose happy calorie mega dye snack"? No brainer, always pick the one with the magical unicorn on the package, unless you don't want your leg to suddenly fall off.
Lastly, I take you over to the pantry where we find..... a 10 pound bag of rice that expires in 2 days?! Kids! Guess what we're having for breakfast, lunch, brunch, dinner, and fourthmeal!
Before we leave the kitchen altogether, I'd like to mention the disaster of overbuying at the grocery store.
So you go grocery shopping, get too much fridge freezer stuff. Have to tetris the items before they get warm, get desperate, start breaking hot dogs in half, smashing eggs.. If you have a fridge/freezer where the freezer is on the top, be careful how freezer is arranged, otherwise a frozen projectile will hurtle towards your face. You won't fix it either until it happens 4-5 times. You get angry when it happens to you, but when you hear the loud slap of the Digiorno box hitting the floor when someone else opens it, you can't help but laugh.
Thanks for visiting my kitchen. I don't know about yours, but mine really seems to hate me. I hope out of all of the words above, I managed to provide some help to those out there whose kitchens treat them badly, like mine.
I hate my kitchen, but I love you.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
I easily annoy my wife
Marriage.
"Till death do us part" they say, but in today's reality it's "till you pay all lawyer fees". That explains when a guy gets divorced and says, "I'm half the man I used to be", it's because the other half went to his wife in the settlement.
Don't get me wrong, I love being married. I maybe even enjoy it too much. Keep reading to hear my secret on why.
It's more than a friendship. Even more than a partnership. I realized quick that more than anything, it is a game of strategy.
Marriage puts me in situations where I feel like a political candidate. One petty little argument easily turns into a full debate; us behind our own podiums facing each other. We take turns, trying to make the next statement more powerful and undeniable. It only ends when someone says something that doesn't make sense out of frustration, something they didn't mean out of anger, or that one thing from the past that gets brought up even though it may be completely unrelated (the red button, dont press the red button!)
I usually lose, so in our house my wife has served two consecutive terms in office. Here's to Me in 2016 !
Despite the rare occasion when there is an argument, I found out the following fast:
So here's the fun part of marriage for me: annoying my wife.
I'd like to say it's unintentional but as I write this I realize that I do it mostly for my amusement. Perhaps subconsciously? Here are some examples:
Luckily, my wife has a great sense of humor and can put up with my stupid jokes and immature behavior. That's how you know when you found the right one.
Thanks for reading folks. Don't be afraid to leave a comment beloooooooooow!
"Till death do us part" they say, but in today's reality it's "till you pay all lawyer fees". That explains when a guy gets divorced and says, "I'm half the man I used to be", it's because the other half went to his wife in the settlement.
Don't get me wrong, I love being married. I maybe even enjoy it too much. Keep reading to hear my secret on why.
It's more than a friendship. Even more than a partnership. I realized quick that more than anything, it is a game of strategy.
Marriage puts me in situations where I feel like a political candidate. One petty little argument easily turns into a full debate; us behind our own podiums facing each other. We take turns, trying to make the next statement more powerful and undeniable. It only ends when someone says something that doesn't make sense out of frustration, something they didn't mean out of anger, or that one thing from the past that gets brought up even though it may be completely unrelated (the red button, dont press the red button!)
I usually lose, so in our house my wife has served two consecutive terms in office. Here's to Me in 2016 !
Despite the rare occasion when there is an argument, I found out the following fast:
- When I'm right, I'm wrong.
- When I'm wrong, I'm wrong.
- And lastly, I'm wrong.
So here's the fun part of marriage for me: annoying my wife.
I'd like to say it's unintentional but as I write this I realize that I do it mostly for my amusement. Perhaps subconsciously? Here are some examples:
- Wear one of my old shirts. Find hole in shirt. Yell and rip apart shirt like Hulk Hogan. Wife looks at me like I'm insane.
- Wife goes into bathroom and shuts door. I wait quietly by door. Wife opens door, I scream. (Works also if screaming while wife still in bathroom) Wife mad.
- Wife calls me on cell phone. I answer by screaming "oh my god!" Wife freaks out, then tells me off.
- When wife leaves room, hide in random places. Scream when finds me. Wife annoyed.
- Leave shoes in middle of bedroom. Wife trips on them, in the dark. Wife bruised and angry.
- Wait for wife to turn around at grocery store, run to other part of store without her noticing. Wife embarrassed.
- Wife trying to have conversation, asks me what she just said. Answer with wrong/random/vague word. Wife insulted.
Luckily, my wife has a great sense of humor and can put up with my stupid jokes and immature behavior. That's how you know when you found the right one.
Thanks for reading folks. Don't be afraid to leave a comment beloooooooooow!
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Social Media Comedy
Have you ever run into someone you haven't seen in a long time and forgot why you lost touch? If so, did you also forget their name? I bet there was a lot of awkward silence. Just hope you didn't do something in the past that was ridiculous.
Well that's how I feel right now, except that I know that it was my fault I haven't seen you in a while. (Insert the classic "It's not you, it's me" line.) However, overlooking the fact that I haven't posted in quite some time, I'd like to tell you that I have had quite a hoard of ideas accumulate. Which brings us to the topic of today's post: Social Media.
Over the last year, I'm sure you've all noticed the increasing popularity of media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Let me just say that each of these have very poignant highs and lows. Lemme break it down.
Facebook pros:
Facebook Cons:
Twitter Pros:
Twitter Cons:
Pinterest Pros:
Pinterest Cons:
These were just a few of the examples of how much social media affects our lives in this age of ever evolving technology. The geek are truly inheriting the earth and we are the ones stuffing their pockets with money. Deserving of success and accolades? Yes. But to this degree, not sure. But if I were on the other side of the fence, would I say the same, I would like to know.
Inspired by the ever increasing popularity of internet memes thanks to our social media buddies, I will let Mr. Cruise take it from here with some one-liners.
Again, thanks for coming back. I better get out of here before some small man of science starts to jump on my couch.
See you next week you beautiful awesome people you.
- Ian
Well that's how I feel right now, except that I know that it was my fault I haven't seen you in a while. (Insert the classic "It's not you, it's me" line.) However, overlooking the fact that I haven't posted in quite some time, I'd like to tell you that I have had quite a hoard of ideas accumulate. Which brings us to the topic of today's post: Social Media.
Over the last year, I'm sure you've all noticed the increasing popularity of media sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, etc. Let me just say that each of these have very poignant highs and lows. Lemme break it down.
- Find old friends from school and hope they are not as successful as you.
- Reconnect with family members (as long as your location is turned off)
- Make your ex(es) jealous
- Keep up with friends' lives without having to call them and talk about their kids or "have coffee"
Facebook Cons:
- Stalkers know exactly when you go to the gym and that you "like" twilight
- Coworkers know when you are faking sick
- Friends know you lied about your sick grandma after you cancelled your plans and "checked in" at the movie theater
Twitter Pros:
- Spreads news-breaking headlines lightning fast
- Connect with people long distance
- Occasional reply from people you admire
Twitter Cons:
- 99 percent of it consists of celebrities pretending to know each other and posting random thoughts of no quality
- A whole lotta spam bots
- Feed often gets jammed up by one person who decides to twitpic every item in sight within 5 minutes
Pinterest Pros:
- Good place to go to slay boredom
- Share funny pictures and recipes
- Find out what your friends like or how secretly weird they are
Pinterest Cons:
- Bad place to go if you have to get up early for work or if you are at work or have a life
- Start browsing at breakfast and stop right before dinner
These were just a few of the examples of how much social media affects our lives in this age of ever evolving technology. The geek are truly inheriting the earth and we are the ones stuffing their pockets with money. Deserving of success and accolades? Yes. But to this degree, not sure. But if I were on the other side of the fence, would I say the same, I would like to know.
Inspired by the ever increasing popularity of internet memes thanks to our social media buddies, I will let Mr. Cruise take it from here with some one-liners.
Again, thanks for coming back. I better get out of here before some small man of science starts to jump on my couch.
See you next week you beautiful awesome people you.
- Ian
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Muse - The 2nd Law album cover
So I received a cool new Bamboo drawing tablet for fathers day from my wife and son and decided to give it a try. After a couple hours of learning how to use the stylus pen and software, I came up with a fun idea on what to draw.
Muse are releasing their sixth new studio album on September 17, 2012 entitled "The 2nd Law." I had made a cover for their last album "The Resistance" also and had fun making it so I said, "Why the hell not?"
First, I had to come up with a concept and saw in their teaser video http://youtu.be/IqFZGnfMLMw that they were referring to The 2nd Law of thermodynamics. I found this model that represents the dynamics of the 2nd law:
I decided to base my artwork on two aspects. The first being the way the model shows heat transfer, flow, and work based on the 2nd law using energy systems(machines) by the body of heat, earth, and a black hole. Second, I put the objects in the same formation as the model above to show the flow representation.
So there we have it folks. If you use my pictures, feel free, but please make sure you cite me, Ian Cole, as the owner of the images, thanks!
For more of my Muse related creations and collectibles go to my photostream at: http://www.flickr.com/photos/13319115@N02/
More blog entries and ridiculous pictures to come this week, cheers!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Who's back? This guy!
Hello random individuals of the .com universe.
You are probably here because you saw an incredibly ridiculous, yet hilarious picture assembled by yours truly linked from Google Images.
Doesn't that make it seem like you are the innocent kid walking down the street, Google Images is the creepy guy driving by slowly in the van tempting you with the deliciously sweet goodness that are my pictures? I think so.
Or maybe you saw my page on StumbleUpon and thought to yourself, " Did I really reach the end of the internet?"
There's also the chance that you came across my Euphemisms of Life facebook page. Yes it has it's own page, because it said it's cooler than I will ever be and if I disagree, than I would be wrong because you can't argue facts. Kind of harsh.
But you made it here, so who cares how you arrived, I'm just glad to have you. It is true, I have been idle for almost 2 months, but it has been quite an eventful 2 months.
I finally got a new car which really makes me able to finally breathe easy, such a stupid thing to have to worry about but it affects everything. I have been very fortunate to be able to get one and a new one at that, I am already in love with the car.
I actually had a dream a few months ago about having a brand new black car and now that I have one, I'm having a sort of a weird deja vu moment, if you believe in that sort of thing. I just need to get a new ipod cord that is hard to find and cant be ordered. I will find it, or you can buy it for my birthday which is in exactly 19 days. I will accept gifts, no personal checks.
Next week I plan to buy a new wireless mouse for my laptop to create some new original Euphemisms of Life artistic pieces, instead of borrowing stock images and drawing on them. Let's just say using the touch pad to draw is like trying to ride a bike with square wheels.
And if you were wondering what happened to my last mouse, well it mysteriously died. Black plague virus or maybe some bad cheese who knows.
The bottom line, I'm just letting you know I'm still alive and well, in case you actually know who I am, or know of me, or know someone with my name, or just because.
P.S. Don't be afraid to leave a comment or two, I always make sure to comment back. Peace!
You are probably here because you saw an incredibly ridiculous, yet hilarious picture assembled by yours truly linked from Google Images.
Doesn't that make it seem like you are the innocent kid walking down the street, Google Images is the creepy guy driving by slowly in the van tempting you with the deliciously sweet goodness that are my pictures? I think so.
Or maybe you saw my page on StumbleUpon and thought to yourself, " Did I really reach the end of the internet?"
There's also the chance that you came across my Euphemisms of Life facebook page. Yes it has it's own page, because it said it's cooler than I will ever be and if I disagree, than I would be wrong because you can't argue facts. Kind of harsh.
But you made it here, so who cares how you arrived, I'm just glad to have you. It is true, I have been idle for almost 2 months, but it has been quite an eventful 2 months.
I finally got a new car which really makes me able to finally breathe easy, such a stupid thing to have to worry about but it affects everything. I have been very fortunate to be able to get one and a new one at that, I am already in love with the car.
I actually had a dream a few months ago about having a brand new black car and now that I have one, I'm having a sort of a weird deja vu moment, if you believe in that sort of thing. I just need to get a new ipod cord that is hard to find and cant be ordered. I will find it, or you can buy it for my birthday which is in exactly 19 days. I will accept gifts, no personal checks.
Next week I plan to buy a new wireless mouse for my laptop to create some new original Euphemisms of Life artistic pieces, instead of borrowing stock images and drawing on them. Let's just say using the touch pad to draw is like trying to ride a bike with square wheels.
And if you were wondering what happened to my last mouse, well it mysteriously died. Black plague virus or maybe some bad cheese who knows.
The bottom line, I'm just letting you know I'm still alive and well, in case you actually know who I am, or know of me, or know someone with my name, or just because.
P.S. Don't be afraid to leave a comment or two, I always make sure to comment back. Peace!
Friday, May 6, 2011
Dare to Dream
It's good to see you again! Wait, have you been sleeping well? You look kind of tired, with the bags under your eyes and all. Oh look there you go, I saw a yawn. No it's okay, just relax, I'll do all the talking. Go ahead and rest your eyes a bit.
Just kidding, wake the hell up and tell me if you have seen this man in your dreams:
According to thisman.org, thousands of people have seen this guy in their dreams. Creepy eh? I don't ever recall him popping up in mine, but I would be interested to hear if you have personally.
To backtrack a bit, I decided to write about dreams because I was annoyed by the fact that I couldn't fight my brain to stay awake the other day.
Don't you hate when you've had a long day/week and you come home exhausted and decide to relax for a few minutes on the couch, but start to fall asleep? However the worst part is when you surrender to the exhaustion and lay down in bed, only to be wide awake and still exhausted.
I bet you finally get desperate and try some stupid sleep remedies to help you along.
Those are supposed to be sheep by the way.
So after trying all of those methods, you start to drift off to sleep. You close your eyes and see:
Wtf are those? The only way I could describe them is glowing donuts, well because I love donuts and hate scaring myself. I need to invent real glowing donuts, that would be deliciously cool.
How about the times you are fighting sleep? I lay there in bed, pitting my brain against my eyes, keeping my eyelids open by sheer will and ignorance. Little did I know that they were both working against me. I stare up at the ceiling, watching the ceiling fan spin around and around, and all of a sudden, it's gradually getting darker. As soon as I realize this, I startle myself and my surroundings go back to their normal level of brightness. Then after a few minutes it starts happening again, but this time you are too tired to care or even realize that it's getting darker because your eyelids are closing ever so slowly. Then you wake up the next morning, not able to remember when you lost the battle the night before.
Speaking of remembering, did you know that five minutes after the end of the dream, half the content is forgotten and after ten minutes, 90% is lost? Well for some reason this doesn't apply to me. Somehow I am able to remember most of my dreams pretty well and here are just a few:
Back to Baby
I dreamt about a baby's room down to every detail and color. I remember telling this to my mom when I was 5 and she said I had described my room when I was 1 year old. I even saw an old picture and saw that it was very close to the dream, even weirder was that in my dream it was from my perspective of lying in the crib. Was it really a dream or a memory?
Recurring nightmares
Always had them as a kid. Usually being dropped off in unknown locations and being left behind, being hit by cars/run over, falling down from high altitudes. I can guess that all of the car related ones might have something to do with me falling out of a moving car when I was 4 years old. As my mom tells it, some guy hurried up and got me out of the road before I got hit by oncoming traffic.
Then I've had just a bunch of random ones, like flying over trees and lakes, playing pro basketball, playing guitar for a large stadium crowd with a popular band, finding a large sum of money, but after recounting, it is somehow a lot less money, and so on etc.
But really for me there are only three types of dreams - Great ones that I wake up at the best part, mediocre ones that either make no sense or nothing significant is going on, and the ones that are uncomfortable, sickening, or horrifying.
Then there's sleepwalking.
Like the time I walked all the way downstairs and peed on the kitchen wall and woke up back in bed. How is that possible? Read some other sleepwalking stories and among them, this is actually common! I especially like the one where the kid peed in the refrigerator, hilarious.
Other people's sleep walking stories include eating sticks of butter, sitting in a dark corner trying to "fix" a broken alarm clock, feeling the wall for "secret" bathroom, standing on a dresser to get away from the baby t-rexes, getting ready for a trip and end up sleeping under the bed naked, holding a briefcase.
Lastly, I thought I would leave you with some random dream facts:
We spend about a third of our life sleeping or about 6 years.
Everyone dreams, even blind people. They can even dream in color.
Men tend to dream more about other men, while women dream equally about men and women.
If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.
According to a research study, the most common setting for dreams is your own house.
The original meaning of the word "nightmare" was a female spirit who besets people at night while they sleep.
Thanks again for coming back to read my words of misguided wisdom. At least with you here I won't have to plug in my Justin Bieber night light.
Sweet dreams.
Just kidding, wake the hell up and tell me if you have seen this man in your dreams:
According to thisman.org, thousands of people have seen this guy in their dreams. Creepy eh? I don't ever recall him popping up in mine, but I would be interested to hear if you have personally.
To backtrack a bit, I decided to write about dreams because I was annoyed by the fact that I couldn't fight my brain to stay awake the other day.
Don't you hate when you've had a long day/week and you come home exhausted and decide to relax for a few minutes on the couch, but start to fall asleep? However the worst part is when you surrender to the exhaustion and lay down in bed, only to be wide awake and still exhausted.
I bet you finally get desperate and try some stupid sleep remedies to help you along.
Those are supposed to be sheep by the way.
So after trying all of those methods, you start to drift off to sleep. You close your eyes and see:
Wtf are those? The only way I could describe them is glowing donuts, well because I love donuts and hate scaring myself. I need to invent real glowing donuts, that would be deliciously cool.
How about the times you are fighting sleep? I lay there in bed, pitting my brain against my eyes, keeping my eyelids open by sheer will and ignorance. Little did I know that they were both working against me. I stare up at the ceiling, watching the ceiling fan spin around and around, and all of a sudden, it's gradually getting darker. As soon as I realize this, I startle myself and my surroundings go back to their normal level of brightness. Then after a few minutes it starts happening again, but this time you are too tired to care or even realize that it's getting darker because your eyelids are closing ever so slowly. Then you wake up the next morning, not able to remember when you lost the battle the night before.
Speaking of remembering, did you know that five minutes after the end of the dream, half the content is forgotten and after ten minutes, 90% is lost? Well for some reason this doesn't apply to me. Somehow I am able to remember most of my dreams pretty well and here are just a few:
Back to Baby
I dreamt about a baby's room down to every detail and color. I remember telling this to my mom when I was 5 and she said I had described my room when I was 1 year old. I even saw an old picture and saw that it was very close to the dream, even weirder was that in my dream it was from my perspective of lying in the crib. Was it really a dream or a memory?
Recurring nightmares
Always had them as a kid. Usually being dropped off in unknown locations and being left behind, being hit by cars/run over, falling down from high altitudes. I can guess that all of the car related ones might have something to do with me falling out of a moving car when I was 4 years old. As my mom tells it, some guy hurried up and got me out of the road before I got hit by oncoming traffic.
Then I've had just a bunch of random ones, like flying over trees and lakes, playing pro basketball, playing guitar for a large stadium crowd with a popular band, finding a large sum of money, but after recounting, it is somehow a lot less money, and so on etc.
But really for me there are only three types of dreams - Great ones that I wake up at the best part, mediocre ones that either make no sense or nothing significant is going on, and the ones that are uncomfortable, sickening, or horrifying.
Then there's sleepwalking.
Like the time I walked all the way downstairs and peed on the kitchen wall and woke up back in bed. How is that possible? Read some other sleepwalking stories and among them, this is actually common! I especially like the one where the kid peed in the refrigerator, hilarious.
Other people's sleep walking stories include eating sticks of butter, sitting in a dark corner trying to "fix" a broken alarm clock, feeling the wall for "secret" bathroom, standing on a dresser to get away from the baby t-rexes, getting ready for a trip and end up sleeping under the bed naked, holding a briefcase.
Lastly, I thought I would leave you with some random dream facts:
We spend about a third of our life sleeping or about 6 years.
Everyone dreams, even blind people. They can even dream in color.
Men tend to dream more about other men, while women dream equally about men and women.
If you are snoring, then you cannot be dreaming.
According to a research study, the most common setting for dreams is your own house.
The original meaning of the word "nightmare" was a female spirit who besets people at night while they sleep.
Thanks again for coming back to read my words of misguided wisdom. At least with you here I won't have to plug in my Justin Bieber night light.
Sweet dreams.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)